January 2012
1 tag
music ask
1: my top 10 favourite bands.
2: my top 10 favourite albums.
3: my top 10 favourite songs.
4: top 10 most attractive musicians in my opinion (dead or alive).
5: do i listen to mp3s/cds/cassettes/vinyl.
6: most overrated bands.
7: most underrated bands.
8: a guilty pleasure.
9: the first band i really liked.
10: the first album i bought with my own money.
11: what bands my parents got me into.
12: bands i have seen live.
13: bands i want to see live.
14: my favourite film soundtrack.
15: what song am i listening to right now.
16: last album i bought.
17: a song i dislike from my favourite band.
18: a band i used to love but now hate.
19: least favourite bands.
20: an unpopular opinion about music.
“If I knew words enough, I could write the longest love letter in the world and...”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald (via wryer)
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Playing With Telemarketers
I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.
ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.
ME: Is this AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: This is AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: Is this AT&T.?
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?
ME: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
ME: OK, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
ME: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
ME: May I ask who is calling, please?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: The phone company.
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.
ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
ME: 7 days a week.?
AT&T: That's right.
ME: 365 days a year.?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
ME: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
ME: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
AT&T: Excuse me?
ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?
ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.
AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for
ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.
At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.
SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?
ME: Yeah.
SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
ME: Is This A T &T?
SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.
ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be Careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to
get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
ME: Thank you.
I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.
AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?
ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family"
thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...
AT&T: click........
So I got a job~
2 tags
Russell Howard's list of all the things that cheer...
natalietyner:
Hearing someone jump into a swimming pool that is colder than they thought it was going to be.
The noise old women make when someone puts food in front of them.
Watching a pigeon drag a massive slice of pizza.
Watching a goth laugh.
Sour cream and onion pringles.
Stationary.
Watching a dog near a fan go ‘why are my ears moving?’.
A baby’s face when it is eating a slice of...
bekn:
A lot of internet famous people aren’t real, they’re just robots designed to act as subliminal advertisements and none of you guys have noticed. It’s a major conspiracy!
Von(DELL) Swain = Advertising Dell computers Edd(PLANT) = Advertising vegetables Liam (DRY)den = Advertising being dry Lex (CROUCH)er = Advertising crouching Toby (TURN)er = Advertising turn-based strategy games Hank...
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“Why would anyone want to go skiing when you can sit in your own kitchen and...”
– Dylan Moran (via iandsharman)
I have spent about 4 hours in total in the...
It’s the first time I’ve been in there to do proper work since July last year.
Such a productive weekend.
Watchdangeridiculous:
smutandeggs:
bbones:
seriously burst out laughing at this holy shit
I don’t know … I … I was watching and thinking WTF is THIS??!! And then … and then it happened and I laughed really hard and I don’t even know why. It’s just really, really, funny.
Dude. I used to do this shit on the first Roller Coaster Tycoon. You make a really cool ride that’s really expensive that...